Forgive the confessional moment, but I’ve been in therapy the past six weeks, and to borrow the inappropriate line from a gory scene from the camp movie “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” I’ll say “I got better.”
My therapy has been physical therapy due to what Xrays, a surgeon and my own pain feedback assess as the beginnings of an arthritic left hip that shows up when friends call me out saying, “Tom, you’re limping” which I HATE to hear. I felt the pain over this past summer and only decided to do something after the pain would not quit hurting, and of course, hurt at the most inopportune times like speaking in front of a group. Yes, I tried self-medicating, popping ibuprofen tablets like M&M’s (not a good idea over the long haul).
If you are the reluctant person or cringe when you hear “therapy” no matter what the type, at least listen a moment to what I’ve learned. Oh, and being married to a marriage therapist probably makes me more resistant to getting help, thinking I know more than other people (dumb!).
Big insight: buyer beware! I see lots of ads on late night tv for “exercise equipment.” At 66 I wasn’t trying for “six pack abs”, just relief from pain. So far, after reluctantly heading to physical therapy, I’ve bought no equipment, just used a pillow, a bathrobe sash, a belt and a doorway….all of which I already possessed. While some therapies do cost (time, energy and yes, some money), beware the scam artists. My biggest outlay? Rearranging my time.
Second insight: therapy involves training rather than merely trying harder. I needed new ways to exercise, “stretch and strengthen” muscles, so just walking more or jumping higher (ouch!) would not have relieved pain, no matter how noble my intentions. A coach, a true physical therapist, helped immensely, and yes, all the exercises seemed simple: I just didn’t know WHAT they were. Most of us get in trouble because we just make poor choices or “don’t know any better.” Bad drivers, bad spouses, bad employees or bosses who will admit to needing help often require better training, not more assertive personalities!
Third insight: therapy takes time. Six weeks into this, last week my physical therapist “let me go,” but true results (lessening pain or learning to exercise, rest and readjust routines) will likely continue to take another couple of months. Pain management involves gradual miracles, the biggest being I have to be patient. As my therapist wife is fond of saying to couples who expect instant change, “it took awhile to get into this situation, and it will take awhile for you to get better.”
And my fourth insight: you just have to take a risk once in awhile. A late mentor once confessed to me, “People prefer the pain of the familiar over the pain of changing or new choices.” Hmmm.
All to say, I need to stop this and get to my exercises, and they only take about 15 minutes. Off to get my pillow, sash, belt and lean into a good solid doorway as I do some new stretches. I hope you find your therapist, coach, mentor, trainer or helper where you need therapy most.
Oh, and I hope you get better, too. That’s how I see the grace of God today.
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