This Sunday, I reenter “traditional church” as I’ve been invited to preach at several modest sized churches (think 50-150 in one worship service) in the Nashville area over the next couple of months.
“Traditional” in my church culture usually means 1) wearing a pulpit robe, 2) marching down an aisle with the choir…also in robes, 3) using the bulletin to print most of the order, prayers, hymn numbers, and message title, 4) leading a “time for children” which is a brief teaching that often is more engaging to kids and adults than the sermon and (sigh, 5) making too many announcements that usually apply to very small segments of those attending.
This Sunday I’ll politely defy some of that by 1) wearing a suit and tie (yes, a son helped me buy current choices a year ago), 2) walking in to sit “on stage”, 3) trying to create more warmth “off the bulletin” in worship and 4) leading the “time for children”….okay, I can’t fight every tradition. Oh, and I will try desperately to hand off those announcements to a lay leader or just say “read this” while waving the paper bulletin at everyone.
Not having yet seen the locale of the church where I will be, here’s my short unrequested list to church leaders to welcome anyone daring enough to try a modest sized traditional church on a Sunday morning:
1. Vacuum, scrub, repaint, repair or replace anything that “still doesn’t work right” and visitors are likely to encounter. You are cleaning house for guests, and toilets need to work, the bulletin be legible (and proofread!), and yes, lightbulbs actually turn on. Extra credit: have quality microphones and a speaker system not made with parts from ToysRUs.
2. Put the local sheriff near the thermostat! This is to fight every little old lady who seems to think “it’s too cold in here.” Alternative: install a dummy thermostat in a prominent place. Sorry, that was more a semi-vindictive personal gripe, and I did not check the sheriff’s availabilty…
3. Put people “out front” to hand bulletins and welcome people who actually LIKE welcoming people. A sour greeter, or ignoring new folk ruins “our great choir”, preaching or even the architecture for any visitors.
4. Give the nursery a second scrubbing, and staff it with a “pleasant nurse nazi” (ancient Tyndall churchese). Also have I.D. nametags, beepers or some way to notify worshipping parents of any child emergency.
5. Spend the extra money to have your bulletin/program printed or done on computer. Bury the typewriter, that ante-bellum mimeograph machine and tacky church bulletins with decades-old “church art” (Not kidding here!). BTW, spend some bucks or draft an 8 year old and get a church website going that DOES NOT feature your building or sanctuary first, but give us people’s faces, maybe even a story or two about why they love attending that church.
6. Don’t give visitors a hard time about their choice of dress/clothing. As a former everyone-wear-ties-or-pantyhose (not both!)-to-worship, I’ll admit I’m probably not yet ready to wear “what Jesus would wear to worship”: hold the sandals and toga, please. While I frequently wear dress jeans to worship these days, I am not about to give other kids, teens, adults, or even retirees the GQ stare even if they missed raiding the Walmart racks just before showing up for worship. And, now according to a very reliable source, there are still godly guys in East Texas who worship while sporting a mullet, so I hereby resign from the church fashion police.
7. (Ah, seven, that spiritual number) Pray for God to speak to you in such settings. You, or someone you know, will likely attend a traditional church because of your parents, grandparents, a friend, spouse or significant other, from a latent curiosity, a nagging desperation to hear a good Word outside your circumstances, or even from boredom with your “normal Sunday routine.” Welcome, and thanks for your effort, even if for just one Sunday.
Oh, and if we meet on Sunday, I’ll try not to act disengaged. After all, that’s just not part of my own tradition.
